I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
