he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
