You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
