dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
