Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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