Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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