the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
