Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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