I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
