Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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