i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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