so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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