What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize