There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
