Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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