it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
