if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
