ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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