This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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