idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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