You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
