how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
