Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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