we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize