mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
