I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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