Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize