scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
