I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize