My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
