and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
