**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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