And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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