Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
