If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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