oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
