i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
