NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize