I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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