Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
