I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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