Non-Jews are for practice
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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