You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
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I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
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I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang