Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
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So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
then he tried to convert me to islam
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.