i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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