connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize