goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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