and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
