Soap is not a condiment
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize