Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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