So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
