Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize