Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
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