I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
