He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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