I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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