I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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