what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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