so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
