is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
