i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
